Several years back, I lived in the 6th Ave neighborhood, and we planted a tiny rhubarb in our back yard. It was barely two leaves and some stringy roots. It flourished happily until later that summer, when it was completely trampled to nubbins by my roommate’s dog. We said, “Oh well,” and thought that was the end.
The following spring coaxed new baby rhubarb leaves into growth, and we were surprised and delighted to once again watch the tested plant urge itself to life. We cheered. We planted neighbors to keep it company: tomatoes, chard, onions.
And then the house got painted that August. The painters did a lovely job on the house. And they did a pretty number on the garden. Our little rhubarb wasn't quite sturdy enough for boots and buckets. Upon their leaving, we found just boot prints and the tired leafy remains of the poor plant. We said, “Oh well,” and thought that was the end.
A year later, we went out into the back garden for the first spring digging and putzing. And what do you know, little Rhubarb now has 10 or 12 foot long stalks and wide healthy and very proud leaves! Again: we cheered.
Our Bionic Rhubarb finally lasted long enough that season to produce something edible. But even if it hadn’t, my rhubarb taught something that I am reminded of again and again in my spiritual practice. Be persistent. Be patient. Do not give up. Do not let your self-expression be deterred by boots and careless creatures or fear or harshness of any kind. Take the risk to try again. Take the risk to trust that your beautiful self is still becoming, and that you won't stop trying because that is not in your soul's nature.
The world is serving up many very compelling reasons to despair, to shut down, to give up. The world is on fire as the traumas of generations and millenia and our own short lives surface: at our nations borders and political offices, in our ecology that is literally shaking and storming us into reluctant awareness, in the violence of toxic masculinity mixed with white supremacy and access to firearms; within interpersonal struggles that are always a miniature version of the bigger swirl of the cosmos; in one’s own struggles to find stable ground or to get out of bed on any given day. I just recently learned this stat that really riled me: that only 9% of what gets put into the recycling system actually gets recycled. Don’t quote me on that number, but you gotta kinda believe and wonder: what the heck am I doing it all for?
I so need this reminder in all the places I feel resignation or have decided it's "the end," all the places where I am challenged but committed to growing and being in the world. It’s ok to be afraid. It’s ok to be tired. It’s ok to not know. It’s ok to numb or zone out or hide sometimes. And yet in the face all that, can you be persistent and patient and give yourself room to be on a learning curve, a gorgeous pulsation of trying and failing and trying again that you are allowed in order to grow into your proud self.
And then listen: that sound? That's the whole of creation, cheering for you, trying to do the same.
This New Moon, as I prepare for the return to school and look (with some trepidation!) to two more years of academia, I have reflected on how challenged I have been these past few years and I feel moved into deep gratitude for all the branches of my community that have helped to keep me bouyant and engaged and coming back again and again into the world’s beauty and heartache. As a member of my ecosystem of support and trust, I just want to say a profound THANK YOU. THANK YOU. Thank you. As a small token of my gratitude, please consider accepting this small gift: inclusion in a free remote psychic group reading and healing for the Fall Equinox. To be included, just e-mail me that you want in! The reading will be done sometime between Sept 22-24th (I will have just started school, so am giving myself a little wiggle room.) You’ll be sent a recording of the reading by September 24th. If you have never received a psychic reading, this is an easy, no strings attached entry point.
This is not an offering that I will be sharing widely, truly intended as a gift for YOU in thanks for your faith in and support of me and as a way I can nurture appreciation for and feel the presence of my web of care. I am committed! I won’t give up! And I am committed to supporting you in any way that I can so that you are resourced to do your work in the world. I believe in your resilience and goodness and sensitivity and innate wisdom. So don’t you give up now either.
Love from the Moon’s Shadow,